Out of Service; Errors of Intent vs Inexperience
At one of my very first rallies, I navigated us out of service (cars are allowed to stop at specific intervals during a two day stage rally to service the car and fuel up,) to the next stage. Upon arrival, it was clear that we were the first car there!
Sounds exciting right??! ...except we were not in first place. At this particular rally, when we were still running the fitful and chronically heartbreaking Mazda 323-GTX, we were likely not even in the top 10. I frantically looked through my book and quickly found my error.
Sounds exciting right??! ...except we were not in first place. At this particular rally, when we were still running the fitful and chronically heartbreaking Mazda 323-GTX, we were likely not even in the top 10. I frantically looked through my book and quickly found my error.
Photo: Rhianon Gelsomino; OZ Pro Rally
Most codrivers use Post-It tabs along the side or top edge of their 100-200 page route books so that stage and transit information can be accessed quickly. For example, stage 5 might be marked "SS-5", and the transit from stage 5 to the service area might read "5 --> SVC". Well, instead of taking us out of the FIRST daily service to the next stage, I flipped the book to what read "SVC --> 7" but we should have been going from "SVC --> 4". (I don't recall the exact stage numbers, but you get the gist.) In other words, being a rookie and nervous as hell, I saw SVC and grabbed the tab, resulting in us arriving at a route we wouldn’t be running for several hours.
We then had to quickly navigate to the correct route, which fortunately was not terribly far away and thanks to some creative interpretation of rules and speed limits, we arrived within our designated minute and no penalties were incurred.
We then had to quickly navigate to the correct route, which fortunately was not terribly far away and thanks to some creative interpretation of rules and speed limits, we arrived within our designated minute and no penalties were incurred.
This is an example of an error of inexperience. (I debated about whether or not to use the term 'ignorance,' but I concluded that someone can remain ignorant by choice, whereas inexperience is simply the result of not having done something before.) The fractured nerves and crushed confidence were overwhelming...it took a couple stages for me to really get my poop back in a group. However, I learned from that experience and have NEVER made that mistake again. I still ride with the same driver, and thankfully, he’s still by boyfriend after 6 years.
Now, let’s discuss errors of intent. I have heard codrivers (usually inexperienced ones) say that occasionally they will change a note to get their driver to slow down. For example, let’s say the navigator sees in the notes that a R3 (right 3, approximately a square or 90 degree right hand turn) is approaching, and let’s say they think their driver is being reckless or approaching a bit too fast. Instead of calling the R3, they will call a R2, hoping the driver will brake earlier and slow the car. The PROBLEM here is that the driver sets the car up differently for different turns. So, if he or she set up the car for that R2, then by the time they are actually IN IT, it may be too late to make corrections. This could result not only in a lack of trust between the driver, the codriver, and their notes, (which is stressful and usually slow,) but worse yet, an off or crash.
Now, let’s discuss errors of intent. I have heard codrivers (usually inexperienced ones) say that occasionally they will change a note to get their driver to slow down. For example, let’s say the navigator sees in the notes that a R3 (right 3, approximately a square or 90 degree right hand turn) is approaching, and let’s say they think their driver is being reckless or approaching a bit too fast. Instead of calling the R3, they will call a R2, hoping the driver will brake earlier and slow the car. The PROBLEM here is that the driver sets the car up differently for different turns. So, if he or she set up the car for that R2, then by the time they are actually IN IT, it may be too late to make corrections. This could result not only in a lack of trust between the driver, the codriver, and their notes, (which is stressful and usually slow,) but worse yet, an off or crash.
Did the codriver intend to crash the car. No...quite the opposite. However, they DID intend to “trick” the driver into slowing down. In order to do that, they had to convince themselves that this was the right move...their INTENTION was to manipulate the driver rather than saying, simply, “back off” or “too hot.”
Or...better yet, just riding it out, puckering up, and talking to the driver about their speed at the end of the stage.
So what does all this have to do with education?
I am a white teacher in a black school.
Aside: If you don’t believe in systematic racism, just think about the fact that we still talk about black schools. In fact, many school districts are more segregated than they were at the height of desegregation. NOW...if schools wish to service their black community intentionally, like HBCUs do, that is DIFFERENT, and that’s not what I am referring to. I am referring to schools in communities that should be heterogenous but are not because of systematic oppression. If this portion of my writing represents an error of inexperience, please comment below and educate me!!!
This means that, despite endless cultural sensitivity training, seminars on bias and how to eliminate it from the classroom, and a very open mind, I am bound to make mistakes. What I have to ensure, as an educator and mentor, is that my mistakes are NEVER errors of intent.
Many white teachers, (and even teachers of color) who apply for positions in underserved communities do so from the headspace that they are going to “save those poor kids.” They’re going to go in and Pinterest the hell out of their classrooms and the kids are going to LOVE them and they’ll be standing on the desks by the end of the semester shouting “Oh Captain, My Captain.”
We call this a Savior Complex, and it is an error of intent. IF you look at the children you are teaching as ‘in need of saving,’ then you are automatically assuming that you are somehow better than them. This type of teacher expects the kids to be thankful simply because they are THERE, and will therefore frequently spend countless hours by the copier ranting to veteran teachers about how these ungrateful kids, (who continue to act like little assholes in their classroom) don’t seem to understand that they’re only there to help them be better.
Bless Your Soul.
Trust me. Kids know that’s what you think. That’s why they’re acting like assholes. Kids know that you INTEND to “save” them, which implies that you think they need saving, or can’t do it without you.
Many of the kids I teach come from rough backgrounds. Some of them have been in and out of Juvie, are or have been homeless, or are dealing with addiction and/or abuse. (I might add, none of this is unique to black communities...but is often seen at elevated levels due, again, to the oppressive result of systematic racism and widespread poverty.) Despite their backgrounds or current status, they don’t need ME to save them. Most of my kids are heavily involved with their local church and community organizations. Most have hardworking, loving, and extremely involved parents who are heavily invested in the education of their children. My job is to teach them, and be an advocate for their social and emotional well being in the best way that I can.
My job is to read the notes. Doesn’t matter if I’m pissed, scared, frustrated, tired, hot, or sick.
I have made countless errors of inexperience. But I acknowledge and discuss them with my students and colleagues once they are brought to my attention, and I try to grow from them. I approach the task of teaching with the same attitude that I do codriving; I will never be done learning.
The recent protests around the country in response to the murder of George Floyd have sent many critically important messages about the problem of racism in America. My takeaway has been this; always check your intent. You can do great harm with bad intent without INTENDING the harm itself.
Take a bit and chew on that...
Or...better yet, just riding it out, puckering up, and talking to the driver about their speed at the end of the stage.
So what does all this have to do with education?
I am a white teacher in a black school.
Aside: If you don’t believe in systematic racism, just think about the fact that we still talk about black schools. In fact, many school districts are more segregated than they were at the height of desegregation. NOW...if schools wish to service their black community intentionally, like HBCUs do, that is DIFFERENT, and that’s not what I am referring to. I am referring to schools in communities that should be heterogenous but are not because of systematic oppression. If this portion of my writing represents an error of inexperience, please comment below and educate me!!!
This means that, despite endless cultural sensitivity training, seminars on bias and how to eliminate it from the classroom, and a very open mind, I am bound to make mistakes. What I have to ensure, as an educator and mentor, is that my mistakes are NEVER errors of intent.
Many white teachers, (and even teachers of color) who apply for positions in underserved communities do so from the headspace that they are going to “save those poor kids.” They’re going to go in and Pinterest the hell out of their classrooms and the kids are going to LOVE them and they’ll be standing on the desks by the end of the semester shouting “Oh Captain, My Captain.”
We call this a Savior Complex, and it is an error of intent. IF you look at the children you are teaching as ‘in need of saving,’ then you are automatically assuming that you are somehow better than them. This type of teacher expects the kids to be thankful simply because they are THERE, and will therefore frequently spend countless hours by the copier ranting to veteran teachers about how these ungrateful kids, (who continue to act like little assholes in their classroom) don’t seem to understand that they’re only there to help them be better.
Bless Your Soul.
Trust me. Kids know that’s what you think. That’s why they’re acting like assholes. Kids know that you INTEND to “save” them, which implies that you think they need saving, or can’t do it without you.
Many of the kids I teach come from rough backgrounds. Some of them have been in and out of Juvie, are or have been homeless, or are dealing with addiction and/or abuse. (I might add, none of this is unique to black communities...but is often seen at elevated levels due, again, to the oppressive result of systematic racism and widespread poverty.) Despite their backgrounds or current status, they don’t need ME to save them. Most of my kids are heavily involved with their local church and community organizations. Most have hardworking, loving, and extremely involved parents who are heavily invested in the education of their children. My job is to teach them, and be an advocate for their social and emotional well being in the best way that I can.
My job is to read the notes. Doesn’t matter if I’m pissed, scared, frustrated, tired, hot, or sick.
I have made countless errors of inexperience. But I acknowledge and discuss them with my students and colleagues once they are brought to my attention, and I try to grow from them. I approach the task of teaching with the same attitude that I do codriving; I will never be done learning.
The recent protests around the country in response to the murder of George Floyd have sent many critically important messages about the problem of racism in America. My takeaway has been this; always check your intent. You can do great harm with bad intent without INTENDING the harm itself.
Take a bit and chew on that...
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